QUOTES OF THE WEEK...

John R. Bihrer on Eunice Kennedy Shriver...

..."The triumph of inclusion: that is the woman's greatest legacy -- one she would insist be shared with her eldest sister.

So the idea that mentally challenged children would be murdered by the American government is not only ludicrous, it is a disgusting insult to Eunice Kennedy Shriver. And yet Sarah Palin repeated that vile lie for a third time today, the day Eunice was laid to rest.

Palin's own child's life has so much more potential for no other reason than that he was born ninety years after Rosemary, who had a sister and family that cared so much. That Palin would show so much disrespect to this lovely woman by lying about the legislation her brother Ted has fought so hard for... it is beneath contempt."

Chris Kelly on Health Care & Sarah Palin...

Are we really stripping counseling from health care because of what doctors might say? (We all know, given the chance, a doctor will always talk you into suicide. That's where the money is.) Why not forbid doctors from talking to patients at all, just to be safe? Call it the Palin-Grassley Freedom from Information Act.

Of course that's not what we're really talking about. We know that end-of-life counseling doesn't mean euthanizing the gullible. (Soylent Green is Palins! Soylent Green is Palins!) Getting this bill rewritten -- or getting it killed altogether -- is about something more primal than that.

It's about how good it feels to bully someone.

(That's what the town hall protests are about to. What could be more a more basic human pleasure than to scream at someone until they give you what you want?)

(And what's the most satisfying thing to demand? Silence.)

Bill Maher on President Obama's playing golf...

...Time magazine is reporting that since he became president, Barack Obama has taken up golf with a passion, playing almost every weekend for the past few months -- and I feel betrayed. He campaigned as a basketball player. It said to us, "I'm urban and athletic and hip and a team player." Golf says, "I like Lipitor and white collar crime." And it's not just golf -- he's been purposefully eating a lot of hamburgers in public lately, to prove he loves meat. And he said that, unlike before he became president, he prays all the time now and that his Faith and Neighbor Initiatives Director sends him scripture on his Blackberry to start every day. Jesus, is there something about that house that turns people into assholes?

I kid the Commander in Chief, he's very far from an asshole, he's a cool dude, and I want to keep him that way! I don't want a regular guy running the country. We tried that for eight years and New Orleans still smells like mildew. Obama was different. He wasn't Joe Six-Pack. He had a six-pack. And when he gave a speech it didn't make English teachers cry. He wasn't some regular schmuck who spent five hours a weekend on the golf course. Why? Because he actually likes his family!

...What they do,[President & Mrs. Obama] Americans want to do, because they're stars, and we're star-fuckers! And, like I said last week, we're not very bright, so we need direction -- if Obama grabbed Biden for lunch next week and ordered a veggie burger -- yes, Sean Hannity will call him a mincing fairy, like he did when Obama used mustard instead of ketchup -- like I ever knew one was more manly than the other. Stop caring what Sean Hannity and Sarah Palin will say about you. Be who you really are - a basketball playing, Jay-Z listening, city-dwelling hipster. The only sand trap I want to see you get out of is Afghanistan. And next time you have to get two guys over for a beer, smoke a little weed.